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no writing technique is so awesome it can't be overused Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in the "a chaotically swirling popsicle of confusion" journal:

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August 3rd, 2014
12:11 am
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I've been spending a lot of time thinking about grieving lately. Life has been rough. My bedroom is a shambles of partly-unpacked boxes from when we moved in here three months ago, along with half the contents from my desk at work. My grandmother died about a month and a half ago. I was laid off last week. These two facts are not related but the emotional process has some commonalities. In both cases I don't want to believe that my life is suddenly so different, and that I had so little control over that change.

I've spent the last few days running around from medical appointment to medical appointment, trying to make the most of my soon-to-be-rescinded cheap health insurance. In between these appointments I've been trying to update my resume and reactivate my mostly-ignored network. Yesterday I texted my old boss: "I believe my career may be getting more boring the longer I stare at this resume," which sums up my feelings on how I'm doing.

Here are a collection of facts I've learned about my grandmother since she died:

She stored balled-up disposable tissues in every pocket of every item of clothing she had. I do the same thing. My sisters and I went through her wardrobe, trying on clothes and dividing them up. At every turn we were fishing out these tissues she had stored for later.

She owned five rings, and her wedding ring. Three of us can wear these rings only on our ring fingers. My last sister can only wear them on her middle finger.

She warped the hooks on every pair of dangling earrings she owned, presumably so they would stay in her ears.

She scrapbooked religiously, and saved duplicate copies of old programs to insert into her scrapbooks. She had three copies of the program for her high school graduation.

She meticulously recorded entries into a ledger book for every sum of money that entered and exited the household. Including every charge on her credit card statement, with a check mark for each reconciled receipt.

Her filing system defied categorization.

This entry was originally posted at http://joyfulseeker.dreamwidth.org/188358.html.

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March 30th, 2014
12:31 pm
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Hockey Reverse Big Bang Story: run, we'll get there
Fandom: Hockey RPF/LA Kings
Pairing: Jeff Carter/Mike Richards
Length: ~11,500 words
Story link: run, we'll get there

“There’s some stuff I’d like to see between here and there. So if you’re driving,” Jeff says.

“You want to come with me?” Mike smirks. “You want to go sightseeing with me?”

Notes: This story was written as part of the Hockey Reverse Big Bang Challenge in response to a mixtape and art provided by the excellent ad_astra_03 and wistful_joy.

Head over to their masterpost for both!

This entry was originally posted at http://joyfulseeker.dreamwidth.org/188002.html.

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January 18th, 2014
09:08 pm
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nostalgia party
It's funny, I feel like I'm constantly struggling in this new fannish reality of multiple platforms to figure out how to communicate, how to make new fannish connections, how to maintain my old ones. I have a tumblr, joyfulseeker there as well as here as well as on AO3, because though I feel a bit sheepish about my current username I am nothing so much as consistent/unwilling to expend more energy on titling things when I already have one that works. I have a tumblr and an AO3 account and an LJ account and a dreamwidth account, but maintain few connections on any one system.

This reality isn't new, though! I think sometimes about my inability to adapt, to have an attractive tumblr presence, to post frequently and thoughtfully on any one platform. This is how one doesn't adapt, I think. I am a living embodiment of a technological paradigm shift, of obsolescence in action. I sometimes think of my online presence circa 2007 and think that I know how it feels to lose the edge of pop culture. It feels really easy. It feels like becoming preoccupied with other things and not learning new interfaces. Change is exhausting. Who knew?

People post in author's notes on AO3 these days with links to their tumblr accounts and invitations to talk to them. How necessary now! But what will these links look like in five years? Where will we be?

This entry was originally posted at http://joyfulseeker.dreamwidth.org/187441.html.

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January 8th, 2014
07:26 pm
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me: ughhhhhhhh
me: (context: I'm eating my way through a 2-pound bag of factory reject jelly bellies)
me: (they are called belly flops)
[personal profile] tricksterquinn: Oh man
me: I know. there are so many places you could start with what's wrong with my last few messages.
[personal profile] tricksterquinn: Pretty much
me: siiiiiiiiiiiigh
me: putting the bag away now

Anyway, my word warring last week was sort of productive in that I put a handful of new words into a story, but then I got massively distracted by all the new fic that came out of the holiday exchange, so I'm going to give myself a pass. However, I'm traveling down to Joshua Tree National Park this weekend, and I'm going to call it fic research! The little San Bernadino mountains must be at least a little like the San Bernadino mountains...just, littler, right? In case anyone wants some recreational reading, here is a fascinating thru-hiking blog from someone who hiked last year. Very well-written.

I also got a trope-bing card, feel free to tell me which trope I should tackle firstCollapse )

This entry was originally posted at http://joyfulseeker.dreamwidth.org/187288.html.

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January 3rd, 2014
11:42 pm
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I wrote a thing and I got a thing!
So first, I have to say that I have been doing some coffee experimentation to sort of mixed results, though I respect others' coffee choices. I don't think black espresso+sugar is for me. My heart just cries out for some sort of dairy.


I wrote a thing! For til_midnight's prompt in the Hockey Holiday Exchange.

Money On the Board (5902 words) by joyfulseeker
Fandom: Hockey RPF
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Jamie Benn/Tyler Seguin
Additional Tags: Soul Bond, Holiday Fic Exchange, Dallas Stars

Seguin is angry in Jamie’s head. It’s like a little coal burning, always.

Read on DW.

I also got a thing! IT IS THE BEST THING because it involves Captain Serious and crochet in possibly the MOST AMAZING COMBINATION EVER. I'm the luckiest in the wooooorld. Thanks, [archiveofourown.org profile] tourdefierce!

Dropped Stitch: Love in the Time of Hockey (8024 words) by tourdefierce
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Hockey RPF
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Patrick Kane/Jonathan Toews
Characters: Patrick Kane, Jonathan Toews
Additional Tags: Knitting, Fluff, Team Feels, Explicit Language, NHL Lockout, Madison Aftermath, Chicago Blackhawks, Long-Distance Relationship, Fade to Black

It’s absolutely unfair and inaccurate to say that Patrick’s meltdown in Madison is directly correlated to the suspicious amount of knitwear his team has been sporting over the last year. Because when you put it like that, it sounds stupid.

This entry was originally posted at http://joyfulseeker.dreamwidth.org/187081.html.

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December 29th, 2013
09:23 pm
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word warring proposal and coffee habits
Things I feel I gotta ask since I'm hanging out in a blissfully empty house and avoiding unpacking my suitcase: is there anyone, ANYONE, who takes their coffee black with sugars? I keep reading that description in coffee orders in stories and every time I read it the record player in my head screeches to a halt as I try to remember if anyone in my memory has ever prepared their coffee like that around me. But where is the milk or cream? Why o why? Am I missing out? Is this something I should try? It sounds like complete craziness.

So anyway. I'm judging everyone in this (coffee) bar.

Now that important business is past I can move on to other important things. I am thinking of word warring with myself this week to try and gain some traction on some stories. Anyone who wants to join in is welcome. I'll probably do it for an hour a day on Monday night, Wednesday night, and Friday night, just write as many words as I can each hour. I might check in each day and write a little something here, or I might wait until the end of the week. Join me if you want, otherwise, see y'all later!

PS: looking at all the tags at the Hockey Holiday Exchange makes me so happy. I can't wait! Babies! Angry sex! Denial of feelings! Foursome, threesome, IN SPACE! Alternate Universe-no monsters (I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT ONE IS BUT IT'S VERY POPULAR). This is going to be so great! So great!

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December 28th, 2013
11:18 pm
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Heyyyyyyyyy awesome people. Anyone willing to do a quick beta, uhhhh, like, tomorrow? Hockey RPF, around 6,000 words, but I'm basically just looking for spelling and grammar, so even if you're not in that fandom, if you have any time to throw at me in the next 24 hours I'd be suuuuuuuuper grateful. Can comment here or email at joyfulseeker at gmail.com.

Anyone? Anyone?

ETA: Got it, thanks!

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October 12th, 2013
06:36 pm
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My god, I don't know why I go to anon-memes occasionally. It always leaves me feeling desperately sad and like I should probably never write again. And they aren't even talking about my stories! WHAT. was I thinking. Too thin-skinned for the internet, I guess.

What else, what else. I spent a fair chunk of today sitting with my hands pressed to my mouth as I read A Month of Sundays by [archiveofourown.org profile] kelfin, and wow, what a story. FAIR WARNING: it is a WIP where 3 out of 4 chapters have already been posted. It's hockey RPF about Erik Johnson of the Colorado Avalanche, pairing with his team captain Gabriel Landeskog and it's SO SO SO GREAT YOU GUYS. This isn't even my team. I have no attachment to these guys. I had to google Erik Johnson to get the kid's basic bio. The author takes us so far inside Erik's head you almost can't see the outside and it's just ENTHRALLING. I kind of want to cling to the author's leg and say, "TAKE ME WITH YOU. WHEREVER YOU GO TAKE ME THERE."

There are a few stories that just do that to me, where the reality the author makes is so compelling I just want to live there forever. This is by no means a complete list, but in a quick scan of my (super-inconsistently-bookmarked) pinboard account, I came up with these favorites:

going up flying, coming home by [archiveofourown.org profile] antumbral (Sidney Crosby/Jonathan Toews)

Julia Roberts Sits on a Throne of Lies by smithereen (WIP) (Patrick Kane/Jonathan Toews)

Anger Management by [archiveofourown.org profile] joatamon (Brendon Bollig/Andrew Shaw)

Stories sticking to your skin by [archiveofourown.org profile] linaerys (Patrick Kane/Jonathan Toews)

What are other people's favorites?

Holy shit did Chicago just get a power play goal? WILL WONDERS NEVER CEASE.

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October 7th, 2013
07:16 pm
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run-down of things I like
Cool things are going down, my friends!

home_ice is holding a Feedback Drive to encourage participation in hockey RPF fandom. My offer thread is here, but there's also a lot of other authors who have offered. I have already received one ficlet, and I'm cruising to get another!

svmadelyn is starting a regular Hockey Mondays feature where we can all talk about exciting hockey things.

And, finally, one hour in, no meteors!


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October 5th, 2013
03:14 pm
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We've had some weather, the last few days. The Bay Area version of weather, so heavy winds at night that send branches scraping and rattling loudly against our windows, but blue skies all day long and temperatures warm enough to want to wear shorts or a skirt. I'm sitting in my backyard right now in the shade of our expansive pine tree. This pine tree is unusual to me, wider than it is tall, with a spreading canopy. It's near the end of its lifetime, according to our landlord. Something about the sparseness of the needles, their tendency to shed. Within the next ten years it'll have to come down, but right now I can enjoy sitting near it. There's a particular scent to sun-warmed evergreens that I like, that I associate with backpacking.

I went out to a dim sum brunch in San Francisco this morning with my housemates. The restaurant was in a building that had been a post office, one of those grand old Art Deco buildings with murals on the inside and artifacts on display in cases from San Francisco's younger days.

We'll be leaving soon to enjoy one of the lingering benefits from the wedding planning. One of my housemates joined a wine club as part of the exhaustive search for wedding wines, and today she is going to pick up her first club shipment. We're all coming along to mooch off the free tasting and eat pizza on their patio. A lazy Saturday to compensate for a stressful week full of irritating adult life decisions.

Tomorrow, if the weather stays warm, I think I'll go swimming in one of UC Berkeley's outdoor pools!

ETA: OR MAYBE I COULD GO KAYAKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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